We are all familiar with the concept of paying it forward. This blog is a small thing that I can do to try to alleviate some of the stress that occurs during difficult housing transitions.
A bit more than two years ago my husband asked for a divorce. The financial fallout that occurred on the heels of this decision was epic to me. Even being in the business doesn’t help when you are staring foreclosure in the eye.
I had two mortgages (my home and my investment property) that were both in and out of pre-foreclosure for the better part of a year while I attempted to sell on the front end of a recession.
The phone’s ring was acid burning my ears, the mailbox might as well have been filled with vipers. The “help” lines at the mortgage companies were staffed by soulless bots and if I stopped to consider my situation the panic would swell to breathtaking levels.
Slowly, painfully, I made one decision at a time (drop the asking price again, accept the low ball offer, etc.) that started to lead me towards resolution.
I often had to call upon a lesson I learned while skiing in the Alps. I was a third year, very intermediate skiier. I spent the morning riding lifts, cable cars, rope tows and puma chairs up and up and up. After lunch you start back down.
I looked out and DOWN and totally freaked out. My mind churned with frothy panic caps: “I can’t ski this! I will NEVER EVER get off this mountain!” A friend turned to me and gestured that she was about to start down and saw the blind fear on my face.
“Don’t think of the whole thing,” she said. “Pick a point just a little ways from here. Call it our destination.”
So, I picked a grove of trees not far and ventured off to my first stopping point. After arriving there she turned to me, “So that wasn’t scarey, was it?” I shook my head. “OK, so today we are going to ski what is in front of us. Nothing more, just from here to the next stopping point.”
During my transitions from large home to condo and from married mom to single, I would return to that lesson often. The words became my soothing mantra: ski what is in front of you Lesley. Nothing more. Ski what is in front of you and you will get off the Alps.
I share this so that you know that there are people out here that know what it feels like to be afraid of an envelope. Keep breathing, call upon your support systems, return to things that bring you peace in damaged times and remember:
Ski What is In Front of You.
If you need me, I am here for you.
Wow, this gave me chills. I like the skiing metaphor a lot. My dad took me skiing when I was very young, inexperienced, and completely terrified. Had I heard this, I might have been less mad at him for sending me down a steep, icy slope covered with moguls!
I definitely need to start viewing my job search this way.
what a beautiful post, Lesley! Congrats on getting your new blog up. Your post reminds me of my old blog http://www.itsnotaboutyourstuff.com (you have to scroll down to find my posts as I gave the blog to a friend a couple of years ago).
I look forward to more posts!
warmly,
Jessica
Leslie:
This is a beautiful post. Once again, timely. You have done more than you could possibly know. Thanks. dk.
Whatever help this gives is a gift to my spirit. Love you.
Absolutely beautiful. So many of us have been in the same position as you have, and we are reluctant to talk about it. You have done such a great service by sharing this with us!
Leslie, you are a true inspiration. A fighter, a noble woman. Thank you for being you, and for sharing your strength and adversities with us. I am blessed to *know* you.
Sincerely,
Marney
Hope to “know” you IRL very soon Marney! The only difference between me and a million others is that I will put my story out there….so many people living my story. Thank you for your kind words!
Hi Lesley – you putting this out there for all to read will have immeasurabhle results, both for those reading it and for you, probably in ways you don’t even think about at the moment.
I have been dealing with that same kind of ‘skiing panic’ because of the loss of the man who was my significant other and life partner for 17 years. He very unexpectedly passed away, and that huge emotional loss has been multiplied even more because we were also business partners. And every day, sometimes every hour, I find myself having to ‘ski what is in front of me’ to just get through the next hour, the next day, the next week.
Thank you for sharing this story – you are strong and will continue to keep ‘skiing those Alps’!
Ann
Ann, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. HUGS to you.
This is great, talk about having the experience behind you when you are working with!! Thanks for sharing with us!
It takes a brave, special, and beautiful spirit to not only share your own story of this nature, but to then also help others in a similar situation. Kudos for sharing and enlightening friends, family, and soon-to-be-friends.
Lesley, you shared a bit of your strength with all of us through this post. I feel as though a burden was lifted – I hope someone in financial trouble finds this and feels the same. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
This was a great post! Gave me chills. Love the story and reminds me of other sayings like “baby steps”. You are a survivor!
Thank you for sharing and haning in there!
I actually took in a deep breath after reading this. First time in a long time. And let out a long sigh. So grateful for such sweet, compassionate friends. Even across the miles, I feel the love and support. Thank you.
Thank you for your post. You are right, you can only ski what is in front of yop.
I am going through foreclosure too and I am trying to take it all in everyday and I get overwelmed. I need to just deal with what is in front on me that day and take it day by day. I know this to shall pass.
Your post was a pleasure to read and I hope some day I can help someone in need too..God bless!